I have a suspicion that my roommate is gay. They keep making suggestive comments, and is too touchy/feely for comfort. I’m fine having a gay roommate, I just wish they would tell me so we can talk about it. How do I confront them without making them feel uncomfortable about it?
Mmm….controversial. My favorite.
This is an uncomfortable situation even with platonic heterosexual relationships, and even more awkward when the people involved are of different sexual orientation. What I, who does anything I can do avoid any awkward situation, would do and what my advice would be would be totally different. I’ll start with me.
What I would do is gush about a totally cute boy and just make myself seem totally straight. I would treat her like I would a guy friend who I thought was unrequitedly into me, I wouldn’t hang out with her so often (outside of sharing a room with her), and any advances or joking flirtation would be disregarded. I would probably not mention it at all, ever. But that’s not the right thing to do, I don’t think. I also think its different if the person is openly gay, which I’m assuming from your questions they are not, because if they’re not telling their roommate, they’re probably closet bound. Openly gay people can treat other people of the same gender who they know are straight the same way they’d treat someone of the opposite gender. But people who are in the closet may be a little confused, and may not have mastered this art yet.
What I would say to do theoretically would be to talk to them about it. You can ease into a conversation about it, starting with past relationships, why they didn’t work out, etc. If they seem really straight about everything, maybe you’re the crazy one. If they seem iffy, see if it’s okay to maybe ask them about it. If you yourself are okay with your roommate being gay, then let them know that you have no problem with homosexuality; they’ll feel more comfortable. But if you aren’t as new-age, you shouldn’t make yourself uncomfortable in your own home. Move. Make up an excuse, like Schottenstein is too far away from 245, or you are dying of heat and need to go to Morg for air conditioning. You shouldn’t feel bad about it, it’s just how you feel. (Though definitely don’t be mean about it). I hope this helps!