Tractate 300: Tales of a Jewish Superhero, Part III

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“Patrick, for God’s sake! Keep your radio on! We have Skyenas on the way!”

Officer Patrick visibly paled at the news.

“Greg was behind the speed trap out by Stone Creek when he saw the entire gang fly by down the 326 towards us!”

Patrick began giving orders to some of the men in the diner, trying to organize some kind of posse, giving out warnings over his radio. The officer, whose name tag said Cole, began asking anyone who was available to help to go with him. His eyes passed over Shin and he was momentarily taken back by Shin’s strange appearance. Shin openly stared back, his eyes startling Cole. Luther Cole had become Sheriff of Iron City three years ago when the last Sheriff was killed by a gang very much like the Skyenas. They had stopped off in Iron City for a night of wild partying, and when they left, they spread the word about the easy pickings.

Cole was a native to Iron City, never left and never wanted to. All these years and he’d never actually met a Jew, but he’d seen them on the news, on the TV. What he did know was that the ones that dressed like this one were the crazy ones, the extreme Jews. Cole thought he saw crazy in the stranger’s eyes, when in truth, it was Shin silently begging the Iron City Sheriff to approach him, to ask him for help. Instead, the chief labeled him an unknown variable, and returned to the task at hand, hoping that Shin would not get involved. The last thing he needed was some religious fanatic riling up the already scared citizens.  Cole pushed the “drifter” out of his mind and had begun herding his makeshift posse out the door when Shin called out.

“Officer Cole, if I may have a moment of your time?” Cole turned to find Shin inches from his face, and his hot, sweet smelling breath, whispering softly in his ear. “Excuse me Officer Cole, I don’t mean to interfere and under no circumstances would I dream about questioning your authority, but I feel duty bound to inform you of this…” Shin reached into his pants pocket and Cole, on reflex, whipped out his side arm.

“Boy, I don’t know what you got in there and I don’t know if you’re crazy but I don’t have the time to find out, so you take you’re hand out of there and slowly sit your black and white ass down!” Cole gripped the gun tightly, the barrel unwaveringly aimed at Shin’s eye.

“Please, if you’d just let me…”

“I said sit the hell down boy!” Cole cocked the hammer.

“Sheriff Cole, wait!” Samantha ran out from behind the bar. “Luther, please, he’s just a harmless drifter! There’s no need to–”

“Sam, get back behind the bar! I don’t have time for no crazy religious fanatic, getting in the way of–” And then his gun was no longer in his hand but pointed at his face.

Finger on the trigger, Shin now held Cole’s gun, hands just as steady as its previous owner’s. “There’s really no need for name calling. After all, I’m not crazy, just dangerous.” The moment slowed to what seemed like a lifetime but was only seconds, the whole diner waiting for the next heartbeat. When it finally arrived, no one could have predicted what came out of the bearded man’s mouth.

“Sheriff Luther Cole, as the authority in the town of Iron City, I am honor bound by law and duty to offer you my assistance as a Registered Power of the United States Government.” Quicker than any eye in the diner could follow, Shin reversed the direction of the pistol and placed it in the still frozen hands of the Sheriff. Shin now held the small ID card which identified him as a Registered Power in his hand and the smile on his face matched the goofy grin on the card. “I hope you’ll take me up on the offer.”

Slowly, getting through his shock and amazement at what had just occurred, Luther Cole placed his gun back in the holster and stretched out his hand to clasp Shin’s. “You know, I always wondered what it would be like if a Registered Power finally came to Iron City.” Hand on his hip he scratched his head with an awkward grin. “But I’ll admit, I never thought it would look like you.”

Stroking his beard, Shin gestured to the Sheriff to sit down at the closest table. “If you have faith, help can come from even the most unlikely places.”

“Well,” the Sheriff smiled, “I’m still glad they sent you. I thought the Governors’ office was going to keep ignoring me forever.”

Now it was Shin’s turn to scratch his head with an embarrassed grin. “Let me be honest. No man sent me. I’m just passing through, but I’ll help in anyway I can.”

The Sheriff bit his lip and cursed quietly under his breath. His head hung low for just a second but when he lifted it, he wore a determined grimace. “They may not give a damn, but we sure as hell do, right?” Cole got up and slapped Shin on the back. “I guess that’s why they lost Texas. Maybe we’ll be next, but let’s worry about that later.”

“Be’ezrat Hashem, with God’s help, it won’t come to secession.” The two got up and headed to the door. “How much time do we have before the Skyenas arrive?”
At that moment a burst of static came through Cole’s radio and a muffled voice rang out, “Sheriff, they’re here!” The roar of a dozen jet engines strafed the diner, and with it came the howls and cat calls of the flying biker gang, the Skyenas.

“Yeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Come on boys, this hole needs some purtying up!!” Glass exploded into a thousand shards as bottles struck the pavement sending people running for cover. The windows of the small diner began to vibrate when the Skyenas landed their vehicles in front of Maybelle’s.

“I’m gonna get me some eats, y’all want something?” One of the bikers, dressed in black leather with large, round goggles hanging around his neck, got off his bike and made his way up to the entrance of the diner. This particular biker called himself Grizzly, and had a body to match his name; standing at 6’4″, with massive hairy arms that gave a fuzzy blur to his multiple tattoos, banged the front door open. “Well good morning to all a you fine cit’zens. Me and some the boys would like our morning nur’shment, so go on and rustle us up some eggs and beer.”

It was then that the patrons behind the bar noticed that Shin was gone, vanished. They looked at each other, dumbfounded. Samantha’s face showed more than surprise; she was filled with anger, anger at having become hopeful. It was that anger that caused her to make a mistake. Hands on her hips, she asked, “You going to pay for it this time, Grizzly?”

He leered at Samantha and made quick grab for her arm. Gripping her elbow, he stuck out his tongue nastily. “I can think of some personal payment which I’m sure you’ll enjoy.” He had pulled her close to him when Cole spun him around.

“Take your hands off of her, Grizzly.” He began pulling his gun from his holster when Grizzly reached out, catching the Sheriff’s hand in a vice grip.

He widened his mouth into a mocking grin of stained, yellow teeth. “Relaxify yourself Sheriff. We don’t wanna be promotin’ Deputy Patrick over there any sooner than we have to, do we?” He nodded his head towards the windows where the diners could see the rest of the gang staring dead-faced towards them. They were no longer laughing or even moving, just staring.

Samantha looked around for Shin again and a bitter taste flooded her mouth. He had run away, even after all that garbage about being registered, and she knew, like every other time in her life, that she would have to fend for herself. Even at the expense of her own self respect. She held back stinging tears as she put herself, once again, within the reach of Grizzly’s rough hands.

This time her tone was soft, “Hey come on now, Griz, eggs and beer coming up, there’s no need for anybody to get hurt.” Hand still on Cole’s pistol, he reached out and cupped her face with his other hand.

“That’s a good girl, Sam. And that offer for dessert is still on the table. I promise I’ll treat ya almost as good as my bike.” He pushed her towards the kitchen and immediately forgot about her. “Now Sheriff, I’m dead curious where this sudden bravery came from. I thought we had a deal. You don’t open your trap and I don’t burn your little town to the ground.” He let go of Cole’s hand and tore the star right off of Luther’s uniform. “Remember– this little bit a tin, it don’t mean you’re Sheriff. It jus’ means I let you pretend you are.”

He tossed the star carelessly over his shoulder, and if he had been a bit more aware, he might have realized that it never hit the floor. If he had, he might have turned around to discover a large bearded man wearing a faded black suit, who had not been there a second before. But he didn’t notice this and so he didn’t understand why Cole’s eye widened in surprise. “You got a problem with what I said Sheriff? You got a problem with our little arrangement? Cuz I’d be happy to renagoshitate all over this place!”

Sheriff Cole closed his eyes and threw up his hands in anticipation of the coming punch, but it never came. Instead, a sudden, horrible screaming forced his eyes open. Samantha came running out of the kitchen. It was Grizzly, shrieking and holding his bleeding hand, which now had the Sheriff’s star embedded in the middle of it. Grizzly finally stopped screaming long enough to hear a soft voice whisper in his ear, “You should always respect symbols of authority. You’re setting a bad example for the children, and then it’s just a hop, skip and a jump away from them disrespecting their own parents. Then what would we do?” Grizzly looked up and saw Shin, who had moved back now and was standing a few feet away from him.

“You did this to me, freak? You’re a dead man!”  Hands stretched out, resembling his namesake, Grizzly rushed Shin. Samantha screamed as the two collided but a second later Grizzly was face down, on the floor screaming again. The star from his hand was now embedded in his shoulder, his bloody arm behind his back with Shin pressing his knee into Grizzly’s shoulder, driving the star in deeper. “I’ll kill ya! I’ll  fuckin’ kill ya! I swear to God, yaargh! You fuckin’ freak!” Grizzly cried.
“Hey!”

Shin applied more pressure, pushing Grizzly to the brink of losing consciousness, “Please, do not take God’s name in vain.”

 

To be continued. To see the first part of this story, go to https://thebeaconmag.com/2012/02/the__written_word/tractate-300-tales-of-a-jewish-superhero/ and to see the second, go to https://thebeaconmag.com/2012/02/the__written_word/tractate-300-tales-of-a-jewish-superhero-part-ii/.